Sometimes I look at her pictures…
And I think about how much I do miss her. I regret lying to her, sort of. She didn’t even see the real me though. She made me a different person when I was around her. I acted different, somehow always managed to go to her house looking like a slob. She made me feel like a complete waste of a human being. I didn’t drive like her, I stripped and didn’t have a real job, she made the frightened person I am deep down come out. I never spoke quite right or came off as smart. She wanted me there constantly and for some reason I hated that. And she wasn’t afraid to tell me she loved me. I think all I wanted out of it while I was actually with her was experience with a girl. I used her for my own agenda, and somehow that way I outsmarted her because she told me she never let herself be used.
But now I crave her energy and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because she’s the closest thing I have to my first love.
PLEH SOMEONE KNOCK SOME FUCKING SENSE INTO ME.
